How did you start getting people to sing “Live Your Life” every day?
I thought that if something wakes him up, the whole world will sing his song. He always wanted to be a rock star and we will make him a rock star. And it caught like a wildfire.
You and your brother started T-shirt line Together, and now are you going to collaborate on the book?
Yes, I am writing a memoir about this time and I am writing it with my sister, Anna Kloots. It’s all about what I’ve been through, about positivity, faith, and resilience. When I was in Ohio, I started writing with my mom and dad shortly after Nick died. I actually found it incredibly therapeutic.
Religion also seems to be an important part of the way you go through this.
I grew up as a Lutheran and have been pretty religious all my life. It’s comparatively unconventional now, but I’ve always prayed, I always felt comforted while going to church, and I don’t know how I would have endured without faith and prayer.
You talk about accepting God’s will, but it’s difficult now.
it is difficult. When you say “everything has a reason,” “Really?” “Why? Why Nick?” But there were too many times in the hospital or over the phone to talk to doctors, and they would say that Nick would not be successful. They said he had an hour or two left. live. And because that’s how I could help, I prayed so hard. And he will live, he will fight, he will stand.
But once that happened, I prayed and said, “God, your will has been done. If you take him I will never understand. But it is not my will, it is your will.” It helped me in the hospital and it has helped me today. It’s not that the hospital isn’t not enough. Not that I haven’t done enough. It is God’s will.
I know you hear this over and over, but it’s amazing how positive you seem to be.
I can’t fall into a hole in my life now because I have a beautiful boy who relies on me. Plus, that’s what Nick wants me to do. There is a part where I feel sad every day, and there is a part where I cry. But I have to find the little things that make me happy all day long. Otherwise I know I will not survive.